You Don't Go Girl

By Taylor Wallace

The shocking Teen Mom episode in which Amber physically assaults her boyfriend Gary has become an internet phenomenon. This video from the MTV reality series has over 5,000 hits on YouTube and at the time, was on the covers of tabloids everywhere. Why exactly this video was so shocking? Amber from this clip is a 140 pound woman who is captured punching and assaulting Gary—a man much over 6 feet and 200 pounds. In our culture, abuse and assault is always greatly looked down upon, but even more so when the man is the one assaulting the woman. When I think of physical abuse in a relationship that has been in the public eye, I automatically think back to the 2009 pictures of pop star Rihanna with black eyes and a messed up face which surfaced all over the internet. When Chris Brown assaulted her, it greatly damaged his career and made women across the world hate him. When Amber got all of this publicity for her video beating up Gary, something very different happened.

Amber’s video punching Gary and cursing at him is not looked down upon nearly as much as it would have been if it were Gary punching Amber. This reveals a lot about modern society and what we think and feel is okay for women and men. If a man punches a woman in the face with great force and calls her a “bitch” he is a total and complete dirt bag and should be, in some cases, thrown in jail. If a woman punches a man in the face with force and calls him as Amber does, “a piece of shit” she is empowered and is taking charge of things. This video of Amber beating up Gary is highly controversial because not much was done in the way to stop this abuse. Amber was definitely looked down upon by the public from this incident, but there was little social or legal consequence.

According to the incident in the video, Gary seems like an extremely submissive and passive guy. When most men watch this video, they assume that Gary is a girly man because clearly Amber “wears the pants,” and that she is the dominating, maybe even more masculine person in the relationship. Gary sits there and takes all of Amber’s abuse as she throws punches at him and calls him horrible names. I believe that Gary is a strong man for being able to hold himself back. Another argument can be made: Gary is less of a man for not picking Amber up, tossing her across the room and asserting himself. I disagree with this because Gary is being mature and rising up against the violence. He is a wonderful example of a modern man who need not be ashamed of acting gentle. Gary is comfortable enough in his own masculinity that he doesn’t have to act overly macho all the time.

Watching a small woman assault a huge man reveals a lot and is quite ironic. Amber throws punches right to Gary’s face and does not hold back. This shows us that violence isn’t the result of one’s gender, that violence and aggression can obviously take place in either gender. It shows us that violence and aggression can obviously take place in either gender. Violence has more to do with one’s environment and social upbringing than one’s sex. Amber and Gary have become a very good example of how America’s culture as a whole is evolving. One of the good things that this situation shows about America is how we have come out of the age where women are secondary to men. However, are women taking on men’s role of being overly assertive and masculine? Do some 21st century women feel the need to get back at men for their long history of being overly dominant? The road to complete equality for women and men has been a long one and it seems that American culture may be further away than we thought.