Think About Me

James Pennington

The romantic relationship between a man and a woman is the topic of many discussions; everyone talks about their issues with the opposite sex every once in a while. In the song, “Think About Me” by iLLa, he reminisces about a past lover. In our society men aren’t supposed to openly admit their deep feelings for a woman. iLLa however has no problem doing that, as he sings a song about a former lover that still seems to stroll through his thoughts.

iLLa transgresses some common male stereotypes at the songs start. The song opens with the chorus, “Do you think about me? I wonder, wonder, wonder, yes I wonder.” Right from the start he tells us that this woman is on his mind. By repeating “wonder” he reveals that this is something he thinks about often. iLLa admits here, “Fooling at a café, fresh off a kush made, sipping on a mocha, thinking about an old flame. What the hell you doing ma’ tell me what you been on, things I would say to her in case she were to come along.” Men aren’t supposed to be open with their feelings and they certainly aren’t supposed to think about what they would talk about if a former lover were to appear. He also says, “sipping on a mocha,” which is considered a more feminine drink. Men are supposed to be as rigid as the breathe they get from black coffee. They aren’t supposed to “sip” mochas while they think about their feelings.

iLLa does fall in line with some common male stereotypes. As the first verse ends the chorus starts again with a revealing twist: “I’m stuck fantasizing, I know its not proper, it used to be so good, being up on top her.” The first verse takes a more feminine approach. This chorus however is slightly more masculine. With it’s “it used to be so good, being up on top her” sexual reference. This is a much manlier thing to say. In that he stops explaining his feelings for her and focuses on the good physical feelings he got from her. Men in our society are supposed to have less emotions and more instincts, and sex is probably the most dominant instinct in a mans brain.

The part of the song that interests me the most is small and seemingly insignificant. The chorus has a line that says, “I know it’s not proper.” In the song he talks about being emotionally attached to this woman while also referencing how much he misses having sex with her. So what confuses me is when the chorus says “I know it’s not proper” what is it exactly that he is referring to? He could be saying that it’s improper to talk about his emotions so publicly or that he shouldn’t be singing about how much he misses this sexual relationship. I believe that the ambiguous pronoun “it’s” allows the line to have multiple meanings. First he shouldn’t fantasize about a woman so openly. Also, it is maybe even less “proper” to be so emotionally open. It’s also the entire idea that someone can be so emotionally complex.

The truth is, I’m not sure what it is this song is trying to say. I think it’s a great example of the emotional inconsistency we experience as human beings. I think it also illustrates that even though society wants us to behave a certain way as men, we shouldn’t be afraid to express how we feel, especially to women we love. The day men talk about their feelings while sipping mochas, is the day everyone can express themselves that much more.